The Campaign Begins
~
by Cloyd Campfire
~
"You see, Elfego ~ we all know Arizona is over-run by the Republican Party because, with the party's censorship bubble extended over the entire state, the peasantry listens to Rush Limbaugh & nobody has even heard of his rival talk-show host, Randi Rhodes..."
Deep in the night on the hill of discarded dirt & concrete chunk, the illustrious editor Davy Crocket Reincarnated happily pontificated. Elfego Baca Reincarnated, el hombre of Spanish descent, presently a poor tramp in this life time but a famous gun-fighter in Old West days, sadly listened. The stumpy hill upon which they stood was located in the gravel pit next door to the mission in Yuma. T'was a balmy night.
Davy continued, "Consequently the Republicans are dominant ~ very dominant ~ here in Arizona ~ and especially since The Limbaugh Clone Factory in Agua Caliente has mass produced more clones of Limbaugh to register as even more Republicans in this state. What few Democrats there are ~ "
"One momento, Senor Crockett," interrupted Elfego. "What you say is mucho interesting, but I do not think fat-head Limbaugh has a clone factory in Agua Caliente. I do not think that is true."
"I don't know where I picked up that ~ that embelishment," admitted the old colonel. "Anyway, what few Democrats there are here ~ seem too afraid to show themselves. All they do is hide under the beautiful rocks."
As Davy cleared his throat Elfego interjected, "So you think Martians can go door to door to convince people to vote for Obama?"
"Exactly! There's too few Democrats in this strange state of Arizona to win it over for the the~" Crockett began to choke-up with emotion & could no longer talk.
"The Obamasiah," reverently intoned Elfego with his head bowed.
A tongue-tied coyote like quietude enveloped the two men for a couple moments as they stood under the night stars. One star fell. Then another. The flying saucer slowly revolving above them continued to blink like a Christmas tree.
Davy swallowed hard and said, "Elfego, you got your phone with you?"
Elfego crouched down & pulled a cell phone out of his pack that was lying on the ground next to his layed-out bedroll. He handed it to this strange man who he could swear was wearing a coonskin cap & then a moment later wasn't.
"How do you get it to light up?" asked Davy Crocket Reincarnated. Elfego Baca Reincarnated reached over and pushed a button on the little digital contraption. These two homeless men had certainly seen better days in earlier lives ~ one as a settler on the frontier, the other as a lawman in the Old West.
"The numbers are too small. I can't see 'em." complained Davy.
"You are a real pain in the ass, senor," said Elfego. "What do you want me to do? Give you new eyeballs?"
"Here." Davy handed the handy communication tool back to Elfego. Davy said, "Go ahead, dial the secret-agent code." He dictated by memory the mysterious numbers.
Elfego dialed the code and mumbled, "You're not really a secret agent."
"I am the White House's favorite secret agent," boasted the eternal frontiersman. He took the phone back and awkwardly placed it next to his ear as if he were actually wearing a coonskin cap although nothing was there. He cradled Old Betsy in his arm although the long rifle wasn't there also. He chirped into the phone, "Merlo, beam me up. Elfego too."
"Whoa! I'm not going for a ride in that thing!" howled Senor Bacca, peering-up with wide-open eyes at the flying saucer above.
Then the two men standing there in the Yuma Arizona night began to glow as each of their billions & billions of atoms crsystalized into little spiritualities. And then the two brave old political roustabouts disappeared. And then, and then, they reappeared inside the flying saucer slowly revolving above.
And they took off for Mars...
~~~
Elfego's editorial:
~~~