has landed ! 


by Cloyd Campfire


     Davy Crockett Reincarnated, one sunny July day, slam-bang split-timber-ed thru the roof and two ceilings into U.S. Vets, an over glorified shelter for homeless veterans over there at Fort Whipple, in Prescott, Arizona.  

     Colonel Crockett, when he crash landed here, was immediately accused not just of being a liberal but also an extraterrestrial, since everybody there, during a fire drill, saw the saucer dart away that dropped him.  The eternal frontiersman came to find out that all these resident eyes collectively constituted Big Brother watching, which didn't bother him since he was now a secret agent.  

     Col. Crockett's landing, a ho-hum happening around a place like this, developed never-the-less into a political phenomena, seeing as the colonel is also the editor of the mysterious Old Timer Chronicle.  

     He stayed.  

     He had to pretend to look for a job, though, while he carried out his secret agent investigations for our beloved commander in chief, President Obama. Crockett found that the people here were mostly vastly conservative in usually an un-informed way, in that most of them didn't even vote, which explains how they ended up here.  Two and two equals 4.  

     I'm glad they don't vote.  

     An uninformed misled television-ingrown bunch like this ought to just mop the floors, collect their pittance & continue to be led by the nose through the propagandized fog of their minds, the political knowledge there fully occupied by the smoke blown into them by our nation's foremost 3 stooges ~ Beck, O'Reilly & Limbaugh ~ the trio that is wholly convincing everybody else that these White Men are the enemy ~ by appealing to these poor fellers fears, hatreds, bloated cravings and nothing else.  

     However, these stranded men at U.S. Vets are friendly and giving.  One gave Crockett a semi-new pair of shoes.  Another fixed him a large, strong, cup of hot coffee.  Not to mention Big Brother's meals, perfectly balanced and nutritious in a VA kind of way ~ were free for all these lucky homeless veterans, which now included Crockett.  

     It came about that one veteran, a Black one, generously gave Davy a small television set, a Sony.  Having no money, Crockett tested its weight, mooched a ride to the pawn shop, the proprietor of which wanted it not ~ not without a remote.  Crockett's ride had left.  He had planned on walking back to El Hacienda a richer man rather than lugging back the TV, which had no remote.  So he did what the man in the store suggested ~ he left it in the alley where the little but heavy gift would undoutidly get picked up by n' by.  And Crockett walked home free of the burden but no richer.  

     Oh well.  He who gave the television to Mr. Reincarnated didn't like hearing about this at all.  This feller thought his gift should be kept and used, not pawned off or left in an alley.  Crockett, who liked to read books instead of watch TV, apologized and another day sailed smoothly to an end.  

     Before it ended completely, though, in his dispatch to the president, Davy suggested that Arizona's new immigration bill, Bill 1070, dictates that, practically speaking, it's best that instead of driving all the illegal aliens out of Arizona, all 7 million of them should be driven into Arizona & that the state should be re-made into a giant detention center, run by the likes of those fine patriots who reside at U.S. Vets.  

     "They'd get the job done and would appreciate the work," triumphantly concluded Crockett, who was, of course, the White House's newest and most favorite secret agent!   


The Davy Crockett Reincarnated Almanac 2001-2008