July 9, 2012

Saint Joan of Mars



 Cathedral Mountain


OLD TIMER CHRONICLE Yuma AZ ~ Saint Joan of Mars, the leader of 6000 invisible Martians, is setting up headquarters on Cathedral Mountain near Sedona, Arizona.

It’s part of their extraordinary campaign for President Barack Obama’s re-election.

The goal of these visitors from Mars is to get the vote out door-to-door in Arizona for President Barack Obama, states Saint Joan of Mars, their leader.  She says, “If the Obamasiah can win Arizona, he can win the whole nation in the upcoming election this November.  Four more years for this president in the White House will be good for, not just the American people, but the entire universe.  My volunteers and I are here to help register more Democrats, Independents, and Republicans to vote for the Obamasiah.  We are here to help peacefully and in a friendly manner.”

Saint Joan of Mars and her entourage, about 20 lieutenants, are preparing a vast campsite at the foot of Cathedral Mountain for the 6,000 Martian volunteers.  All are invisible.  All that they do is invisible.

In the midst of adventure between here and Mars they had to astral project themselves to Earth, which being an out of body experience, made them invisible.  When they get out the vote door to door, explains Joan, they thusly do so telepathically.   “That is, we communicate from Martian to Earthling with mind waves.  It’s a mind thing.”

So if you live in Arizona, say, in Wickenburg, and somebody knocks on your door, and when you open the door nobody is there, but you all of a sudden decide to vote for President Barack Obama instead of Mit Romney, you’ve probably been visited by a Martian.  Either that or a Democrat.  But Democrats are not invisible.  Or are they ~ in Arizona?

Saint Joan of Mars expounds further, “The spirit of your nation will not be benevolent and people orientated if the Republican contender wins the White House.  Those who most prominantly back this, this Mitt Romney, are mean spirited and addicted to wealth.  The United States of America, Earth’s most powerful nation, will be ruined by this man and his benefactors.  Remember and remember well what happened last time:  two unfinished wars and a collapsing economy is what was left you by the Republicans.  The Obamasiah, on the other hand, will strengthen your democratic institutions and the availability of medical care.  He will absolutely avoid war when possible.  He will honestly, truthfully, thoughtfully wage war only if it is necessary.  The economy will improve in a fair and benevolent manner.  And the spirit of Jesus, our lord, will prevail.”

What about abortion?  “Nobody likes abortion.  Abortion, like war, is not always avoidable when it comes to what is best for your planet,” says Saint Joan of Mars, who, incidently, is the reincarnation of Saint Joan of Arc.  “Now let us pray…”